Bye 2011

Another year gone

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas.

Happy Winters Solstice

Happy Winters Solstice.

I have been a bad girl though. I really need to get back on track. Though we are once again near Hogmanay, so that will be a goo time for me to reflect on what I have done right this and what I need to work on as well as what I need to do next.

11-11-11

All the elevens :)

taking a month off

I have decided to take a month off after I got none of kast months challenges done.

Meditating

I had intended to meditate every day now that all of my wee ones are in school full time.

This has not happened though. I really need to do something about that as I have not been dealing with the wee ones very well. I do not sprnd that much time with them now they are at school so I need to make sure that the time that I do spend with them is not spent shouting at them.

September goals

This is what I plan to do this month

1. Meditate more.
2. Work on dealing with the wee ones without anger.
3. Do more yoga.

August challenges

This is what I have done this month

Taking the time to think

Today before I went shopping I made some time to go to somewhere peaceful to think about what is bothering me.

I managed to find a lovely spot in the wood where I was able to think.

I made a list out of how I am feeling at the moment (more was added when I got home) and the a list with what I need to do next.

It was really good to get out into the wood to think about things. I think I need to do this much more often (especially with how I am feeling)

There is still a feeling that I want to leave, not to run away from something but to create a new life for myself and the wee ones.

May the Force be with us all.

More for the list

Here are the the next lot lot for the list.

6. I am becomming more organised.
7. I am learning to create self confidence.
8. I am learning and developing new skills.
9. I am happy that I am still interested and putting work into learning Japanese.
10. I am proud that I am not giving up.
11. I love that I love nature.
12. I love that I look for rhe best in others.
13. I like that even though I have a lot on, I still help others when I can.
14. I forgive myself for both silly and serious things.
15. I like that I am getting better organised.
16. I like my sense of humor.
17. I am proud that I am beginning to discover happiness and contentment.
18. I am happy that I returned a form to school the day after it was given to me.
19. I am proud of how I have develooed since becoming a mother.
20. I like that I am doing my best to keep the flat clean (it is not something that I was skilled at)
21. I am proud that I recycle as much as possible.
22. I am proud that I pick up litter when out and about and that I recycle as much as possible.
23. I can make the best out of a bad situaion.
24. I am proud that I recognise that I still need to work a lot on my spiritual development.
25.

I wish

I think that some things are like a double edged sword.

It is on days like today that I think that. Though it has been increasing in occourance. I would love to leave my life behind and take the wee ones away to a place with less technology.

Sometimes I can't help when I am watching the documentary Babies feeling envious of the life that the boy in Mongolia is living. Sometimes it feels like there is so much in my life, but at the same time so little.

I have to do something to change that. I have made the first steps toward that, I feel though that it us time for bme ti take a leap.

The first five days

I did not think at the time about keeping note of the positive things that I am going to be saying about myself.

This is what I have said about myself so far:

1. I like my eye color
2. I like my curly hair.
3. I like that I am learning to love myself.
4. I like that I am still fighting through the negative thoughts that I still get from time to time.
5. I am proud of the photography work that I have done , and the photographs that were exhibited recently.

August Goals

This month this is what I aim to achieve:

1. Once the younglings go back to school start meditating and doing yoga again.
2. Find something positive to say about myself every day and write it down.

That is all that I can think of for this month.

July goals

this is what I have managed to achieve this month

July Goals

This is what I would like to do this month:

1. Remember to meditate.
2.  

June goals

This is what I have manged to achieve this month

Arm exercise

As I am now in my thirties I need to start making more of an effort so that I look as good as possible as I get older.

One of those things is to keep the dreaded bingo wings at bay. I seem to be doing a good enough job at keeping them away, but my friend told me about a really good exercise that I have now been doing for four days.

All you do is hold your hands together at the front (like you are holding your hands out to have something put into them) and then you put them out to the side with your palms facing out (you flick your hands as you move your arms out) I recorded a song that you work to and it takes about five minutes. All you do is move your hands from in the middle to the outside and repeat that for the length of the song. By the end to the song my arms are really aching and they are still aching as I type this. It has been getting better though. Today when I did it my arms were not hurting as much as yesterday.

We will see what happens in a month or two of doing that every day. I have got weights, but I am forgetful about doing them.

June tasks

This is the tasks that I am setting myself this month:

1. Start looking for recipes and testing out new healthier meals.
2. Start going to bed at a better time.
3. Keep meditating most days, preferably ever day.

May Goals

This is what I have managed to do this month:

• As well as meditating, find out other ways of keeping my temper under control (I found out some information and printed it out)
• Work out how I can get the ideas for my home business to work (I have worked out that some of the things that I am interested in doing can be done through selling on a website)
• Read the information that I found out about setting up my own website(I have copied and pasted the information and I just need to print it out)
• Meditate every day (I have not meditated every day, but I have managed most days)
• Get some practice with my tarot and oracle (I have not done that)

I have done pretty well this month.

Felling better

It has helped that I have had a lie in today and that my partner has helped more, but while I have had a couple of snippy moments, today has been much better. Though I hope I never have a day as bad as yesterday.

I also managed to meditate today. Now I just need to read through the information that I printed off yesterday about staying calm.

A bad day

I have been a bit up and down with my temper recently. I think that is because everything seems to be so chaotic that my mind is not very organized at the moment.

Today however was the worst that I have been for a very long time, in fact I was so bad that I never ever want to have a bad day like this again.

I have been really good with my meditation up until the last couple of days when I have not done it so that has not helped.

I was fine until I got home with the wee ones. I was fine with them then all of a sudden I was not all right. I got very angry, very quickly. And of course because I have been angry the wee ones have played up. I would get mad, calm myself down, get mad again and repeat the calming down process. Every time I thought I had got the temper nuder control it would explode out of me again.

I decided that I should actually do the task of finding anger management tips instead of putting them off. I found some tips and I have got them ready to print off in a booklet. I am going to read that lots until they sink in I manage to let go of the anger. I really need something that I can punch. I will have a look and see what I can find.

Meditating

After a slightly shaky start, I have been very good at meditating every day. I have been making progress with my meditating skills as well.

I have discovered that if I hold the crystals that I put spells on it really helps me meditate. I have two crystals that I put spells on. One for peace and the other for meditation. I also hold some kunzite which also helps. I love holding the crystals as they feel lovely.

Star Wars day

May the Fourth be with us all.

I realized today that I have accidentally forgotten to meditate for the last couple of days, but thankfully I remembered today and I managed to get it done in the morning before I went to get the wee ones from nursery.

May goals

These are my goals for this month:

1. As well as meditating, find out other ways of keeping my temper under control.
2. Work out how I can get the ideas for my home business to work.
3. Read the information that I found out about setting up my own website.
4. Meditate every day.
5. Get some practice with my tarot and oracle.

I need to make sure that I write them down and get them done this month.

April Goals

This is what I have managed to achieve this month:

• Work on find out out how I can keep my temper under control - I have found that meditating really does help keep me calm.
• Work out how I can get the ideas for my home business to work - not done
• Read the information that I found out about setting up my own website - not done
• Meditate most days - not done
• Start learning about Tarot cards - not done

Oops I have been a really bad girl this month. I knew I was not doing well during the month, but I failed to do something about it. I will just put this months goals over to next month and make sure that I do it.

Bad start

Oops I have been a bad girl and I have not got any of my goals done at all.

Time to get them written down and worked on.

At least I have realized now when I can do something about it, better late than never.

April Goals

This is what I would like to achieve in April:

1. Work on find out out how I can keep my temper under control.
2. Work out how I can get the ideas for my home business to work.
3. Read the information that I found out about setting up my own website.
4. Meditate most days.
5. Start learning about Tarot cards.

I think that will be enough for this month.

March Goals

This is what I have managed to achieve this month:

• To remember to write down the goals for the month and keep checking on them - Done
• Spend less time on the computer at night - Done
• Start writing out ideas for my home business, and start working out how I will make it possible - I have written down ideas, but I have not worked out yet how I will make it happen.
• Start looking into getting a website and how I would get it up and running - I have bookmarked websites, but I have not read through them yet.
• Start meditating again - I have done this, though I have not done this as much as I should have done.

I have done pretty well this month. Though while I have achieved all of my goals I did not complete some of them as well as I could have done. But that is not too bad. I will just add what I could have done to next months goals.

Dealing with crankiness

I really have to deal with my crankiness as it is affecting the wee ones. I know that if I change they will do. But I need to do something about it now. I have said this before and I have done my best to do something aobut it.

I think however that if I am not able to find something one the Internet to help me I need to find someone who can help me.

I do know now that I have to do something about it now.

Tarot/Oracle card readings

After I had found the websites I decided that as I had plenty of time before collecting the wee ones from nursery I would write out my list of the things that I like doing etc from the working at home guide.

I found it easier writing it out this time and as I was answering the questions I had the idea of doing tarot and oracle card readings for people.

I had a really good feeling about that and it felt right. I am now going to look into courses that I can do to improve my tarot card reading abilities and see what Kindle books I can get about it as well.

I am so glad that I did that this morning. I feel like I have got a proper goal to aim for for the first time.

It just goes to show what I can get done in the morning when I do not waste it browsing the silly celebrity gossip webpages.

Setting up a Website

I have been looking for help Online for setting up a Website and this is what I have found so far:

Website setup guide

Having my own website

The site wizard


Here is the Google search that I did for finding a domain space:

Google search

I meditated today

I meditated today for the first time in a long time. I did not do it for long, but it went well and I did not have any difficulty shutting my mind off for it. I am going to make sure that I do this most days as it is the best for me.

I have found something else which is kind of strange, in a nice way. There is a program that I watch with my eldest at night once the twins have settled off to sleep. It is called little bear, it is a lovely cartoon. It has really nice stories and I like the good examples of friendships that it shows. Also for me it shows me the kind of family life that I would love to have. Lastly I find it such a soothing cartoon to watch that I end up feeling like I have meditated at the end of it. I have not felt like that with any other show that I have watched before.

Now I think that all I need to do is start working toward making that actually happen.

Supermoon

It has been said that the supermoon is a good time for letting go rituals. I think I will have to have a quick look and see what I can get done before I go to bed.

I did manage to get a picture of it:

I have also (with the exception of tonight) been good at getting off the computer at night. I have been getting off at ten o'clock as I said. I have allowed myself the latest time of 10.30 and one night I went up to that limit. This has meant that I have been betting to bed at a much better time, and as a result betting more sleep.

I have been less tired than before. I still have been nippy with the wee ones, but I really need to start meditating again. I will start that on Monday.

Edited to add:

I did not manage to get any rituals done, but I did ask my pendulums some questions and I did some tarot and oracle readings. I was not really prepared for it. Though I did get to be a part of the experience and I was very fortunate to have been able to see the moon.

I was a good girl

Last night I said I would come off the computer at ten o'clock and I managed it. I am very pleased with myself.

Now all I need to do is make sure that I do this all of the time now.

Written out lists

Well it is better late than never. I have written out the lists of my goals for this month.

Now all I need to do is make sure that I put it somewhere easy to find and that I check it regularly so that I make sure that I know what I need to do.

Now that I have been reminded about what I need to do, I am setting myself the goal to get off the computer by ten at night (The latest that I will allow is ten thirty)

New Spirit and destiny magazine

Yay the new spirit and destiny magazine came out today. It looks like it is going to be a really good month this month. I think there will be a lot for me to discover.

March goals

This is what I want to achieve this month are:

1. To remember to write down the goals for the month and keep checking on them.
2. Spend less time on the computer at night.
3. Start writing out ideas for my home business, and start working out how I will make it possible.
4. Start looking into getting a website and how I would get it up and running.
5. Start meditating again.

That will do for this month.

February goals

This is what I managed to achieve this month:

• Start planning out what I would like my home business to be. (I have started to think about it, though nothing has been written. I am starting to form ideas)
• Spend less time on the computer at night. (I have not done this)
• Cut out chocolate. (While I have not cut out chocolate I have greatly reduced the amount that I have been eating)

I must confess that I have not done that well this month. This month has flown by and I do not seem to have done anything at all. I think that shows, as this post was done a day late instead of the last day of the month.

Still lacking focus

Even though I have been getting better I am still lacking focus.

I know I want to do something, but I do not know what I want to do. I feel like I am wandering along aimlessly. It was really highlighted when I was talking to my mum on the phone. She was asking about what I wanted to do, I could not answer her though so I just told her that I did not know.


She was talking to me about asking about what was going on at school and told me that if I get offered an opportunity then I should just take it, but I really am not sure. If I am to go out to work then working within a school environment is the best option for me. However at the moment I really would prefer to work from home.

I just need to work out what I would like to do at home. At least I have got something to aim for and work towards. The most important thing that I need to do is figure out what I would like to do from home. Another thing I need to do when working from home is sort out my finances as I will be responsible for my taxes. I will have to find out information about that as well.

I have had a quick look and here are a couple of useful links that will help me. I will check to see if I can get a printed guide sent out to me.

Self employment in Scotland
HM revenue and customs

I know that there is not too much that I can do while the twins are at nursery, but if I spent less time browsing the Internet at night I can start getting myself organized.

I think I am going to have to get out my quest journal and make out my home business quest and set out some structure to what I am going to do.

Next visulization

I have worked out what pictures are next going up on my visualization board. The Yu-Gi-Oh 5d's DVD's.

Feeling better

Thankfully today I am not feeling as bad as I did last night.

Losing focus

while I am not as bad as I was last summer, but it has dawned on me today that my life is lacking focus. I am just wandering along aimlessly.

this is in all aspects of my life. I do not seem to do anything special with my wee ones. All I seem to do is tidy the flat without actually getting it clean.

I think I will have to do a Tarot and Oracle spread to see if that can offer me some help and I know I need to meditate about it as well.

Hip Hop workout

I have not been that good with my Yoga this week and I have not done it. I think I am going to have to choose a different day to do it on as Sunday does not seem to be a good day at the moment. I think I will have to make it on a Wednesday night from now on.

However after a comment that my partner said about trying out my dance workout DVD I decided that I would do it again. It has been so long since I last did it, and I really can tell it. I am not aching that badly, but I can tell I have had a good workout. It was fun though.

One thing that I really do need to work out right now is keeping myself calm when things around me are stressful and not letting myself get so angry. It really is beginning to rub off on my youngest son. If I do not do anything this year it will make it harder to get it out of his system as well.

Casting a spell

Today I cast the spell on a crystal and a stone to help me with my meditation.

February Goals

These are my goals for this month:

1. Start planning out what I would like my home business to be.
2. Spend less time on the computer at night.
3. Cut out chocolate.

I think that will do for this month.

January Goals

This is what I have managed to achieve this month:

• Start Yoga again on a Sunday night. - I have done this. Though some Sundays I have not done it, however I have made up for it by doing it during the week at some point
• Spend time learning written Japanese every day - I have not done this. I have been learning spoken Japanese most days (at least five to six days a week) I think I will leave the written Japanese until I have sorted out the flat.
• Start planning my home business - I have not done this. I have sadly found that I have been too tired by the time that night time has come around and other times I only remembered when I was going to bed. I will have to do a better job with this as this is something important. I will need to set time aside during the day.

I have not really done that well. Though I am happy with what I have managed to do. I am mainly happy because I have put a lot of time into sorting out the flat. I am glad that our flat is not that big as it would be even more challenging looking after a bigger home.

Yoga

I did yoga for today. I did the easier yoga but I am glad that I did it. There was a nice relaxation the end of it so I use that as a chance to do a little meditation. I will do my best to meditate again before bed.

Meditating

I have been getting snippy with the wee ones recently and that was when I had realized that it had been a few days since I last meditated. I made sure that I did so today. I felt so much better after it.

Yoga

I managed to get some yoga done. I did not do as much as I had wanted to. There was a delay getting started as I could not find the DVD. I managed to get the upper body workout done today and tomorrow I will do the lower body workout.

Feeling better

I am feeling much better now. So the yoga will be done this Sunday. I must make sure that I do not get into the habit of not doing it.

I also need to really start thinking about what I would like to do for my home business. I will start looking through my book again. I need to get my brain into gear.

I am also going to start looking for some carpentry courses soon.

No yoga tonight

My back has been aching really badly since Thursday (the 6th) so I think it would not be a good idea to do my yoga until I feel better. I really hope that I will not have to stop for long though.

Started Yoga

I managed to do yoga. I hope to at least get it done every Sunday. I thought I would be good and start on the first Sunday of the year.

Now that I have started I just need to make sure that I keep doing it.

January goals

This is what I want to achieve in January:

1. Start Yoga again on a Sunday night.
2. Spend time learning written Japanese every day.
3. Start planning my home business.

Goals for 2011

This is what I want to achieve in 2011:

1. Use visualization to help me achieve what I would like to achieve.
2. Meditate most days.
3. Do Yoga either once or twice a week.
4. Work toward getting my home business started.
5. Find out where the nearest Buddhist temple is and see if I can visit it.
6. Read more about Buddhism, witchcraft and paganism.
7. Eat healthier.